There was no right time when to let someone meet your child. I didn’t let anyone meet Surya until she was like 5 and that was on accident.

The journey of single motherhood that I embarked upon was a voyage like no other, and the part of it I wish to illuminate today is the tale of "dating without really dating". As cryptic as it may sound, that phrase truly encapsulates the nature of my experiences.

Growing up in a household that emphasized strong values and a certain decorum, I was always very mindful of how I carried myself and the environment I provided for my child. I was never one to introduce every man I dated to my daughter, nor did I try to sneak them into her life under the guise of "uncle". Our home, which I shared with my brother, was a sanctuary, a family haven that I did not open up to overnight guests - except for this one particular gentleman, who we'll unravel in a future tale.

I was the type of single mom who took her daughter everywhere - work, parties, gatherings. Our bond was always visible and untethered. And it was during these escapades that I met various men who saw me for who I was - a doting mother, a strong woman, someone who effortlessly managed work and family, without any pretense. My daughter was the beacon of my existence, the glaring and unhidden truth about me that I never had to explain to anyone.

These encounters were not exactly dating; they were more akin to fleeting moments of opulence - flying across the country for dinner only to catch a red-eye flight back, or other similarly grand gestures. These experiences were intermingled with my high-stakes job, one that afforded me little flexibility to be whimsical or spontaneous, and my steadfast commitment to seeing my daughter every morning, a promise I held sacred above all else.

Some of these men I dated did cross paths with my daughter, but they were never introduced or familiarized because they were not of substantial consequence in our lives. I knew they were temporary and it didn't make sense to paint them in the hues of permanence in my daughter's life.

Through these years of 'not dating' dating, I honed my ability to discern what wasn't right for me, to filter out the undesirable traits, and shape a clear vision of what I wanted in a life partner. Each experience was a lesson, each person a chapter in my book of life. And all of it, the clarity, the understanding, and the wisdom, I owe to my daughter. She was, and continues to be, the compass guiding me through this labyrinth we call life.

It was not easy, but every challenge faced, every decision made, every standard upheld was worth it. Because it was not just my life, it was our life - mine and my daughter's - and I was determined to live it on our terms, with dignity, respect, and love.

Until we delve into another chapter of my journey,