I beat myself up for so long because i felt a disconnect with my daughter. I wasn’t in the right mental space emotionally and so in replace of that i figure i will work and provide to make up for everything else.

Let me take you on a personal journey, a glimpse into my world, frozen in time by Surya's lens. In this candid capture, you witness the weariness etched on my face, the telltale signs of an #ExhaustedMommy, navigating the challenges of postpartum life, four months deep.

Every nuance in this image speaks volumes - the weight of #Stress, the tinge of #Sadness, and the pang of #Loneliness. In that moment, I felt a fragment of my identity slipping away, my cherished #Independence fading into the background. Nostalgia tugged at my heartstrings, as I yearned for my family, the sun-drenched days of LA, the laughter-filled brunches with my girls, the familiarity of my front yard, and even the scent of #Weed permeating the air each morning in my backyard. Homesickness gripped me, intensified by the absence of the familial #Support I longed for while raising my precious little one.

Discovering my unexpected pregnancy with Snai brought forth a surge of emotions, and tears streamed down my face. It had only been three months since I uprooted my life, embracing the #Eastcoast and embarking on a new chapter as a newlywed. I was still acclimating to the unfamiliar terrain of my professional journey, trying to unravel the mysteries of #Philly, a city that I still couldn't quite believe I called home.

But those tears held a deeper significance. They harkened back to the first time I learned of my pregnancy with Surya, reopening wounds of #Abandonment, #Neglect, and feeling #Ignored and #Unworthy. Insecurities cast a dark shadow over my spirit, and the journey to rise above those inner demons had drained me. Fear clutched at my heart, the fear of repeating past mistakes, of being a single mother for the second time in a row. Pessimism threatened to cloud my thoughts, but amidst the turmoil, my sister-in-law emerged as a guiding light. She reassured me, reminding me of the beauty inherent in this new chapter and of the extraordinary man I had married, a man unlike any I had ever known.

In the depths of my vulnerability, I yearn for connection, for others who have walked a similar path, who understand the complexities of uprooting oneself from family's embrace. How long did it take them to find their footing, to forge a new sense of home in unfamiliar surroundings? The journey of adjustment and acceptance beckons, and as I share my story, I seek solace and companionship, hoping to connect with those who have navigated the winding paths of life with resilience and grace.